Men's Secrets

Welcome to my new blog about "Men's Secrets". This originally began - and may eventually return - as notes for a book. There are a few things that led me to writing such a thing:

1) I am a good listener. I've always been the person who people came and told their problems and asked advice from. So over the years I've had many exposures to various life problems and opportunities to think deeply about them.

2) I have always considered myself somewhat "socially autistic". Perhaps on the far end of the Asperger's Spectrum. That is, I've never been good at reading social cues. Most people seem to be hardwired to unconsciously pick up subtle motions, eye movements, body posture, tones of voice, etc. that I just never saw or knew how to read. As a young dater, if a woman didn't walk up to me and say clearly and concisely "I am attracted to you" they could toss their toss their hair and flirt all day long and I'd never see it. So over the years I've made a focused, intentional study of human interactions. I'd watch and record: "Oh, she did this and then he did that. So her 'this' must have meant....". After 30 years of study, I think I've finally got a reasonable handle on why people do what they do and how.

3) Apparently, I'm not the only one who is periodically confused..... because I keep having people ask questions, especially cross-gender ones (e.g. "why did she just do that?" or "why do guys act that way?").

Back in the days of our ancestors, there were Rites of Passage where boys were taken off with the men to learn the secrets of how to be successful in life, love, business and more. Girls and women had their own rites where presumably they got their equivalent secrets. We don't really have those anymore.

So this blog is intended to discuss those "Men's Secrets". There are really two kinds of secrets relative to men:

1) secrets FOR men - things guys should know in order to "succeed" (which can mean various things depending on the setting, age, etc.)
2) secrets ABOUT men - how they think, feel, act - that women may find useful or interesting.

I will be posting both kinds (trying to remember to label them "For Men" or "About Men") based on years of observation and advice I've given. But I am also open to new questions. So please feel free to send any questions you have and I'll see what answers I can give.

Cheers!