FOR MEN (FM) Sex and the Single Woman

Let's face it - women control the distribution of sex. Pretty much any woman can get laid at any time. She may not be able to be laid by anyone she's interested in or finds attractive, but she can get laid. On the other hand, there are many men out there who would love to have sex with someone they don't find attractive. They can't get laid no matter how much they lower their standards.

This means that unless they purposefully saved themselves for "Mr. Right" or married their high school sweetheart, in most cases, they have had sex with more people than you have. A very unscientific survey of every couple I came across for a year yielded that on average - the female partner had slept with 2 - 3 times as many different people than their male partner (although they usually didn't admit it to their guy for fear of being thought less of). So hint to you guys - don't ask if you really don't want to know!

This is almost certainly due to the fact that every woman just plain has more opportunities for sex. There is always at least one guy lurking around just hoping a woman will have sex with him. So the prettier women spend their time fishing through a huge pool of offers from a few select men, and the less attractive woman are often using sex for attention. Those select few men, by the way, usually have had 2 - 3 times as many women as their partners. The average Joe has had 5 - 10 sex partners. His girlfriend has had 15 - 30 sex partners (but only fesses up to having 5 because she doesn't want him to think she's a slut), some of whom were the studs who have had 30 - 60 lovers. There are, of course, exceptions such as women with only 1 or 2 sex partners or those with 60 - 70. I knew a young woman who had sex with a different guy at least 5 times a week for over a year for a total of close to 250 guys in 2007. Yowza! I bet she hasn't told that to her current boyfriend.

What this also means is that any woman you're interested in - regardless of how available she seems - probably ain't really single. There's a guy at home somewhere. I actually got into the habit of just stating upfront, "my experience is that most women as attractive as you are seldom single. They usually have a boyfriend at home while they're looking for his replacement. So tell me about your boyfriend...." It took them by surprise but it got things out there in the open. It didn't mean I wouldn't date them, I just wanted to know the score. And part of the score is - if she cheats with you, she'll cheat on you, because no matter what you may think about yourself or what she is telling you right now, you ain't that special. There is always someone who is cuter, smarter, better hung, funnier, what-have-you.

There are a few times when women get dumped by those few studs, and I even know some women who do break up with their men before dating others (although they often have one or more potential dates in their sights). And there are times when someone has dated scads of other guys, maybe even cheating on her last boyfriend to date you AND you really are Mr. Right. It happens. Like everyone wins at the blackjack tables once in a while if they play enough. Just the odds are not in your favor.